Picture Perfect
by TheLostMaximoff
Summary: Most nights, Roy can live with the fact that Thea's gone but there are some nights when he can't.


Picture Perfect

By TheLostMaximoff

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. R/R. Felt like doing some Roy angst while we're waiting for season three.

Roy Harper has been counting the days ever since Thea Queen walked out of his life. So far, the count is up to over ninety and it shows no signs of ending. Most days, Roy can deal with it. He can deal with the fact that the person he loves the most in his life decided she couldn't love him anymore. He can deal with the fact that life wearing a mask was always going to be the thing that killed his relationship with Thea. He tells himself that she wouldn't understand. She wouldn't understand what it's like to look at yourself in the mirror and see something so terribly worthless. She wouldn't understand how something like that drives him, fuels him to put on a mask and take up a bow that he's only now starting to get good at using. Thea Queen could never understand a life lived in the gutter and no matter how hard Roy tries, he can't make her understand it either.

Most days, Roy can live his life without Thea but there are some days when he can't. There are some days when the hole in his heart can't be filled no matter how many thugs, rapists, and murderers he puts in the hospital. Oliver always tells him that life will work itself out but Oliver doesn't understand. He thinks that Thea left Starling City to get away from him and Roy doesn't have the heart to tell him otherwise. On nights like this one where he can't stand the loneliness, Roy pulls out his phone and looks at the pictures of Thea that still reside inside the device. They are pictures taken in happier times. There are those from the beginning of their relationship, when everything was exciting and dangerous. There was a certain thrill Roy got from dating the rich, bratty princess of Starling City. Thea would sneak away from her family and come see how the other half lived. They would get dinner, make out, perhaps do something decidedly illegal. Living on the edge was the only way Roy knew to live back then so he didn't mind. Things changed though. They always do.

There are pictures on his phone from when they were co-workers, or more accurately from when Thea was his boss. That came with its own thrill but by then Roy was settling down. He realizes now only too late that he could have spent the rest of his life with Thea. He knows it wouldn't have been the glamorous life she's used to but he thinks even now that they could have made it work. He would have tried to make it work for her because he loves her still. He wishes that she would come home and every night when he returns to his home after a hard night of defending the city, he half-expects her to be there to greet him when he gets through the door. She could have made an honest man out of him but instead he broke her so completely with his dishonesty.

Roy lets his fingers trace over the screen on his phone, the tips of them tracing the contours of Thea's face. He clicks the button and scrolls through his contact list before finally landing on her name. He's thought of calling her so many times but knows that she would never answer. She's a ghost now, just a phantom that haunts him when he's too tired to resist thinking about her. All he has left of her are the pictures and the memories attached to them. All he has left is that ache in his chest whenever he thinks about seeing her again. He scrolls through the pictures again, flipping through them so fast that they become a blur. He feels someone's hand on his shoulder and it snaps him out of his reverie. As always, Oliver is ever looking over his shoulder.

"I know this is hard," says Oliver. "I feel like I should say this though. If you keep looking at her picture all the time, you're not going to survive."

"Who says I want to in the first place?"

"I think we both know that's not what she would want, Roy."

Roy simply nods and puts the phone away, tucking it into one of the pockets on his costume where he keeps it safe. He flips up the hood, not using it simply to conceal his face but rather to block out the rest of the world. Satisfied with his pep talk, Oliver moves to depart their new lair but Roy lingers. He pulls out the phone and looks at Thea once more. It's a stupid thing to think but he hopes that wherever she is, she's looking at the same picture and missing him just as much as he's missing her.


End file.
